Every January 1, time for resolutions. Do more cooking, exercise more, go to bed earlier, be a nicer person, the list goes on. For starters, did I ever do more cooking? No, of course not, but then the pandemic hit, around the time a friend gave me a Blue Apron starter box. So guess what, in the last four years I’ve cooked 1,378 dinners and had 629 Blue Apron, but not because of my myriad of resolutions. A resolution has little, well frankly nothing, to do with altering my behavior.
It dawned on me that resolutions are reminiscent of my years as a Roman Catholic, going to confession, being contrite for one’s sins and vowing to do better. And let’s not forget Lent, that’s the 40 days before Easter. During Lent you have to give something up, or do something to make you better. For too many years, my Lenten Resolution was to stop eating sugar. It never worked, showing how effective this practice was. Fortunately, I gave up on confession and Lent when I was 17, and that was that. But somehow New Year’s Resolutions persisted, and again, my behavior rarely changed.
One New Year’s Eve dinner with my husband when I was in my late forties. I announced, “John, I’m done with resolutions. I think they’re stupid and a waste of energy.” He looked a little perplexed. I imagined the cartoon bubble above his head, “Why is she even telling me this, I’ve always thought they were pointless.” Without giving him time to say it, I continued. “From now on I’m going to pick one thing that I’ve never done, but always wanted to do and do it.” He laughed and with a twinkle in his eye, said, “I like it!”.
The very first one was going to a midnight showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture” at the Royal Theater. We went to see it, without umbrellas or toast to toss, so we sat towards the back of the theater. Another year, I decided to go to the Bradbury Building, an architectural gem in downtown LA with my dear friend Karen. Afterwards we went to one of those devotional stores that sell fancy candles which invoke special powers. We each bought some; I don’t recall that our purchases had any impact on our lives or our futures. I had never been to Catalina Island; we went for the Halloween Ball at the Avalon Ballroom with another couple, My husband was dressed as a gangster, and the other couple (Doug and Marion) and I went as flappers - imagine that, two women and a man swinging our pearls, with our zoot-suited gangster to protect us - we were quite the foursome.
One more, an ambitious one…Bali. Going to Indonesia was a dream come true. Two favorite memories from the trip. After a massive earthquake in the north of Indonesia, the government issued a tsunami warning. It was terrifying, but my travel buddy decided we should get ‘dressed’ and ready for It, wearing snorkeling gear and fins. It passed inconsequentially. The other excitement was going to see the Komodo dragons on the nearby Island of Flores. These creatures are dangerous, eating children and maiming adults. As protection for the Park visitors, the rangers on the island are equipped with sticks about 6 feet in length, with a 4 inch V shaped prong at the top.. Not very reassuring, but we were spared a vicious attack.
When I retired, I had a new challenge - what to do with the new-found expanse of time! Filling a weekend when you’re working is easy, but having an extra 40-60 hours of time on your hands is daunting. So I began a process, similar to creating My Annual Resolution. I made a list of activities, adventures, health enhancing activities to choose how to fill my days. It was exhausting, and took months, but I finally figured it out. First-off volunteering. I’ve done a few different things, but have settled on two - working with an organization called Write Girl where I am a mentor to a teenager who was born in Nepal and now lives in Venice, Italy. I am also a Hospice Volunteer, going to patients’ houses in the last weeks or months of their lives. I’ve read poetry to a Parkinson’s patient who couldn’t speak, I’ve read the Bible to a minister, I’ve told stories, I’ve listened to stories, and with my current patient, I walk on Palisades Park in Santa Monica. Hospice is not as challenging or sad as it may sound. In fact, it’s enormously rewarding.
The rest of the time I spend traveling, writing, exercising, doing Pilates, reading (always two books at one time), lunch with friends, playing Mahj Jongg and my newest addictions, Spelling Bee and Wordl.
For twenty five years I haven’t made one New Year’s Resolution, and have never looked back. But My Annual Resolution, though often simple, has made my life more rewarding. Oh, if you were wondering what I’m doing this year. Having never experienced a total solar eclipse, I’m going to Lake Chautauqua, New York on April 8. That's much better than trying to stop eating sugar!
Delightful, Meredith.
Meredith— Wow! What an exciting and creative life you depict here. Great story